filio family: Confessions of an Irresponsible Dad

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Confessions of an Irresponsible Dad

Okay.....okay......yes.....I am a bad father. I lost Owen in the play area of the mall for a good 60 seconds and I can not explain the feeling of panic that I felt. I wanted to move, but a sudden sense of shock came over me. I literally was freaking out on the inside. I wanted to call, scream, make a scene or something, but nothing happened. I just froze there. I remember him being in front of me...and as i looked down for a second, and then I looked up, he was gone and nowhere to be found. There were lots of kids screaming and running around, but I just couldn't find him.

I wanted to call Michelle and tell her I can't find Owen, but what would that to her. She'd probably yell at me! Or soemthing....and how can I blame her, right? We gave her the freedom to roam around the mall and shop. I was supposed to be the responsible father. But I felt the worst feeling those 60 seconds. A short time after that...Owen resurfaced from the invisible world, and at first, I wanted to get mad at him for disappearing on me, but then I realized he was just being a kid and playing. I was the one who lost track of him. I was the one at fault. I was distracted. How can I possibly blame him?

I did have the chance to talk to him about not talking to strangers. I told him to be careful who he talks to and he is asked to go with them, he should say NO. I guess my job is to make sure he doesn't ever gets put in any dangerous situation.

This was one of the first few experiences that I have had as a father that got me to think how scary the world we live in can be. How you can't just assume that no one will ever harm your child. I guess the fact that I am responsible for another being, such as my son, gives me the opportunity to learn and to grow...to protect and to look after.

I don't want to experience that ever again!

4 comments:

Cade G. said...: don't feel bad......I was babysitting my cousin and I forgot about her when I left the house....it was probably about 10 minutes before I drove back and realized I left her by herself. she was like 6 months old! No wonder she is scared of me...lol; December 17, 2008 at 3:43 PM
Anonymous said...: ha ha ha......

not to make you feel any better....but my husband did the same thing.....he was at best buy and walked away from the cart where the baby was.....I was fuming when I saw the unattended shopping cart!

He was banned from Best Buy for 2 months!!!; December 17, 2008 at 4:30 PM
Anonymous said...: i dont think you can consider that irresponsible yet.....did u hear about that woman who left her baby in the van while she shopped at target....now that's irresponsible...; December 18, 2008 at 8:53 AM
Anonymous said...: I am glad it was only 60 seconds! Kids are quick...they can be in one place for a second then almost seems like a mile away a few seconds later....

ur still a good dad...i am sure your son still feels that way.....; December 18, 2008 at 3:39 PM

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Slow down! Icy Road Conditions!

The picture above shows what happened to the car after I got into car crash on my way to work. I left at 6 a.m. hoping to beat rush hour traffic not thinking about the bad road conditions. I haven't gone to work for a couple of days and I know I needed to get back in the office. it was about 3 miles from my house where I was driving over an icy bridge and I lost control of the car. I don't remember much from what happened other than the fact that I tried to gain control of the car as I was swerving left and right and I missed one car, but another car headed towards me from the opposite direction hit me right on and I spun around. It all happened really fast! I remember checking to make sure I could feel my feet. And then I called 911. A police officer was there within minutes. The trip to the hospital was unbearable even though they hit me with morphine! I laid on that stretcher in the emergency room for hours because they wouldn't move me until all the x rays and scans were completed and evaluated. It was a pretty uncomfortable 5 hours! But I got out of it okay without any major injuries - just a few bruises here and there. I was glad! I am grateful that my life did not end then! I had a few thoughts go through my head as I hit that truck. One thing was: "Did I buy enough life insurance to sustain my family? and "Am I ready to go?" Sadly, the answer to both questions were no. And it makes me realize how short and unpredictable this life is. I really want to be a better person, to really cherish every single minute I have with my family. I love my wife and my son, and the rest of my family, but to go through an experience when it seemed like everything was to be stripped of you, it really opens your eyes to a better perspective of what is truly important in life.